Mama Wanders

“I may have wandered for a while, but it was Your wonder that made me go back onto Your path. You turned my morning today into praise, another day of surrender and trust. Your Spirit never left me all this time. I was confused and bruised, but You made me stronger. You carried me this far, Your grace sustained me.

You are faithful, You are a Promise-Keeper. Your Word is alive. Your kindness and love, unending.You are good all the time. I love you Lord.

Yes, I experienced so many attacks during my baby’s 4th tri. I was complacent and too confident of the battle, Lord. I am sorry.

Ignorant of what was happening, I just took things as it was. Never asked for wisdom nor help from You. It was awful. The effect on me was quite detrimental, after realizing it.

However, it was a learning experience, thank You Lord for making me stronger for my child. Help me to become a better mom mentally, emotionally and spiritually, in Jesus Name.”

☝This post is really about motherhood, (extra lang yung Netflix, hehe) my Heavenly Father is continuously molding me to become the person that He designed me to be. “Trying” to become better is not the answer, yielding myself to Him then becoming that person is.

My thoughts were just like webs and worms during that 4th tri. However, thy thoughts, as He said in His Word:

And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”Matthew 28:20b

Sharing with you my baby’s pictures, too…

His 1st month:

On his 3rd month:

Ang drama ko no? Actually it was just an issue about baby’s weight (and my spiritual walk,too.)

Seeing him extremely underweight before was just totally heartbreaking for me. 💔

I may have wandered, but today Im walking in faith and true freedom!

Missing pieces

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Lately, I was just able to pick up snippets of revelations, and it was frustrating. I can’t even understand what was happening to me. I found myself confused and burdened.

When the Lord revealed the Word “HOPE”, I just took it. When the Lord said “TRUST ME”, I just kept it in my heart.

However I was clueless and I can’t put them all together. It didn’t make any sense. I felt that something was missing. I knew there were more missing pieces that I have to receive, to be able to see the whole picture and for me to gain understanding.

But I knew deep down in my heart those pieces that I was holding on to, should be treasured and pondered on. I knew at the right time, the Lord will help me and rescue me. As I wait upon the Lord’s voice, I still feel that I am failing Him and I’m missing out something.

I failed because I lost my confidence in Him. I lost it when I embraced confusion.

It was such a dark moment and I could hear whispers . Those whisperers were trying to steal my joy, and destroy me as I walked through the cloudy path of confusion. It almost felt like it was the truth because I kept hearing their voices.

And, there was a temptation to believe and follow. Yet I found myself uttering these words…

By Your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I’ve committed myself and I’ll never turn back from living by your righteous order. Everything’s falling apart on me, God; put me together again with Your Word.” -Psalm 119:105-107

As I asked for the Lord’s help, I cried out and patiently waited for Him -patiently waited for Him to rescue me. And then, slowly, He shed His light.

His light extinguished the darkness.

I figured, those pieces that I had been receiving suddenly made sense. Because of the Light, I saw clearly that there weren’t anything missing at all. Everything was complete. I just needed His Hand and His voice to teach and direct me.

And as I put them together, I saw how God brought my confidence back. Amidst the confusion, peace was there. Amidst the darkness, hope was there. I just had to trust Him.

Those pieces happened to be the PEACE that I had been looking for.

I, suddenly, became complete and whole again.

My Thoughts and Thy Thoughts

My thoughts are clouded, haunted and unguarded.

My thoughts are narrow, even sometimes shallow.

My thoughts are like shackles, trapping me.

But thank You Jesus, because in You, I AM FREE.

For the Lord said unto me:

My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

-Isaiah 55:8-9

It is thy thoughts now Oh Lord, that I value and pay attention to.